Theres been countless times I have come on here and spilled my guts. Write paragraphs on paragraphs like I’m writing an essay. Its become very therapeutic. Writing out all my thoughts and feelings on a wall of text, reading over my words and analyzing every emotion. It feels good visually seeing my thoughts.
Then back spacing all the letters and text to just a blank page deleting my thoughts. Its become routine and beneficial. Its been a year or two since I’ve heavily done this and I missed it. I’ve kept so many thoughts and emotions inside for years. It feels good to let it all out in writing and deleting it all at the same time. Its refreshing and peaceful and that’s why I can keep coming back. My blog feels real personal to me even though there are hundreds of eyes who scroll past my posts on the daily. To see the things I actually hit “post” on and to feel the things I just erase.
How I Met Your Mother life lessons
How I Met Your Mother life lessons.
I never knew what it meant to truly 3rd wheel till tonight. All my homies would give me the hint to not be a 3rd wheel and I do the same back if I don’t want the homiey hangin.
Tonight was a low, I gave you my pack, my ID and my debit card to hang onto but you still left a homiey hangin. I lost the most respect to you, I can never look at you the same.
I know pussy is pussy but when you leave a nigga to hang it’s a wrap. It’s personal to me because you build that trust over the years, but when pussy comes around you bail.
Bitches come and go but when she leaves, don’t come back to me or the niggas. We ain’t your fall back bitch. I always knew you was like that, but when you do that to me it’s a wrap. I always put my day 1s over any girl unless she’s the wife. Until then just know you lost a niggas respect because I would not put a homiey In that sitaution.
That feeling when you see a chick you was feeling fvckin with a lame ass dude. Like foreal? Thats what you wanted? Could of done the same ishh being a simp and being corny to you but I don’t stoop that low. I honestly try to keep my hate to a minimal but bruh…
Oh well do you then. Good seeing ya but meeting ya mans was evidence enough for me to dead you and reason enough to wonder why I don’t downgrade myself to impress females.
Excuse my humble brag tho, I’m just giving you a piece of my mental right now. At least you don’t have a Tumblr so I can speak my mind. Good luck with that cornball I hope you like corn so you can forever enjoy that dudes corny ass cornfest of being a lame cornball.
I’m in this beautiful struggle of finding myself. The amount of things I can learn is limitless because each day is a new subject. Every day is a new opportunity to find peace with my thoughts that go deep into the very corners of my mind. If you don’t learn, if you don’t feel, if you don’t grow each and every single day you’re just taking a step backwards in life.
Whatever people say it’s all a lie till it comes from my mouth
Well just signed up for my student admission to Mt Hood Community College. It ain’t the fanciest of places but I’m glad I’m actually taking a step into this college life.
I am hopefully going to attend the Winter term this winter but I’m gonna have to go in and figure all this shit out with a counselor there. Been slacking for the past 4-5 years but I swear I’ll figure this out.
Gonna go for a degree in Business Management and Administrations or Business Marketing. I’m kind of intimidated because I haven’t been to school in 5ish years. Nothing is fresh in my mind and I missed out on Senior Year because well, let’s just say I didn’t make the smartest choices back then. Gonna be tough to take that college placement test though.
Anyways I’m gonna try my best to get out of there ASAP and transfer to PSU or something. Rather finish my school somewhere else then MHCC. Anyways I’m just glad I got my student admission in, and taking a step closer to being where I want to be. I’m still faaaaaaaaaaar away, but you gotta start somewhere right?
Not really but just most of my 1st cousins from my pops side.
Day started pretty lame. Pops canceled my phone line because he’s been on some weird shit lately even though I been paying my bills and then some back then. Gonna have to check out T-Mobile, Sprint or Cricket for that new line.
Work was cool. Same shit different day at FedEx. Haven’t updated this ishh in so long I’ve been there for 2 months. Hard labor lifting boxes 3-4 hours a day.
Got picked up after work from my sisters and Bobby tagged a long. Came home to shower and get ready for dinner at my grandpa’s. Took Bobby home cuz he had to go to dinner with his own fam for his birthday.
Got to my grandpa’s and talked to him first. He was in his wheelchair and I asked if he was doing good. He grabbed my hand as I walked in because I know he missed me and said it’s tough for him. I honestly haven’t had the time to visit as much as I’d like but that’s no excuse. I know he’s been lonely and sad since I believe today was 6 months since our grandma passed away.
Continued the rest of the night by chowing down with my fam. Hung out with Mary, Linda, Michael, May, Nai, Eric, PT and dapped up my cousin Kyle who I haven’t seen in years. Caught up with him and his life in Cali.
Crazy because he just opened up being Gay so it was a little weird to me seeing him in his “natural” state…like his gay behavior and how he talks and carries himself. I don’t know how to explain it but yeah. Never had a hint that he was gay growing up. I mean he was always the one to be around girls but I always thought it was just because him and Chad are twins and girls think that’s cute. I’m just used to the straight Kyle I grew up with
Then Chad came by with a case, drank a bit with him and then we all went inside and caught up. It’s funny seeing him make fun of his brother for being Gay. Then we heard Kyles story of when he broke it to his mom and it was pretty hilarious. Ended the night just vibing out with em and my sisters and decided to head home. Said goodbye to my grandpa and told him to keep his head up. Gonna make it a mission to visit again sooner.
Got home, watched TV and ended up having Junior’s and I bro moment on the Xbox playing FIFA. Stayed up till 5am like usual and now about to call it a night. One Love.